Becoming the Messenger: A Journey I Didn’t Plan

This morning, as I sipped my tea and lazily scrolled through social media, a video landed softly in front of me, one of those quiet, spirit-timed nudges that doesn’t shout, but makes you stop in your tracks and listen. The creator’s message was simple and stirring:

“A new rise of creators is on the way.”

She spoke of being guided to remind others that whatever they're creating, especially online, is valid, even if it's new, even if it’s still messy, even if no one else is really noticing… yet.

I paused the video and just sat with it for a second.

Because without knowing me, she’d said everything I’d been holding close lately.
The quiet call I’ve felt. The discomfort of growing while being witnessed. The gentle but persistent nudge from spirit to: keep going, you’re not doing it wrong just because it looks different.

You see this was never the plan. I didn't set out to become a reader.

There was no crystal-clear download. No grand epiphany. No Instagram-worthy moment with beams of sunlight and choir music. Nothing like how these things are depicted or even how id imagined.

It started with mystery boxes.
With love-soaked crystal bundles and handwritten notes tucked beside intuitively chosen stones. And then came a moment I’ll never forget, packing an order and becoming overwhelmed by a feeling I couldn't explain. Like someone (or something) was nudging me. Gently, but very clearly.

It wasn’t just about crystals anymore.
I was channelling. Without even realising it, I was becoming a messenger.

A language that isn’t just tarot and what followed wasn’t a straight line. It never is.

Sometimes I’d pull a card, then feel drawn to add a charm. Sometimes an object on my altar would speak louder than the deck in my hand. At times, I’d know a message before a card even flipped. And while others around me were reading tarot live with yes/no questions and rapid-fire interpretations, I realised: that’s not how I move, that's not how I receive messages.

They can come through in the colour of a stone, the slip of a charm, the image I can’t stop seeing in my mind’s eye. I read energy the way I feel love, all-encompassing, hard to explain but always clear.

Despite not seeing others doing it the way I am, that doesn't mean it wrong. It just means I'm different and its mine. And I'm okay with that. 

Showing Up as I Am
Not long after watching that video, I rewatched a clip I’d posted the night before. A snippet from one of my recent rituals. Hair messy, no makeup, soft lighting, no filters.

And I thought, I wonder what others think of me.
Not from insecurity, not really. More from a place of curiosity. A kind of detached awareness. And then came the realisation:
I don’t need to show up polished. Because I’ve never claimed to be perfect. What I offer doesn’t come from a filtered face, it comes from my heart. 

This hasn’t happened overnight.
Learning to love and accept myself, how I look, how I move through the world, how I feel things, has been a journey. A long one. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing just the shell… and started truly seeing me.

And I can honestly say this now, without flinching:
I love and accept all parts of me.
The good, the bad.
The younger me, the present me, the aging me.

And weirdly…
The more I’ve shown up authentically online, the more I’ve shown up that way in real life too.
It’s like every post becomes a mirror, not to who I think I should be, but to who I’ve actually become.

This path I’m walking, with tarot, with crystals, with spirit, is still unfolding.
There’s no clear label or final definition for it, and maybe there never will be.
I’m still learning how to hold it with care, how to honour what comes through and how to trust the way it moves through me.

But I know it’s real.
I know it’s mine.
And I know it’s time.

So if you're also feeling something quietly brewing beneath the surface, something that doesn't quite fit the mould, something you've never seen before but feel in your bones this is your reminder:

You don’t need to rush into a label.
You don’t need to wait until it’s perfect.
You just need to begin.
Exactly as you are.

🌙 Final Words
I don’t need to rush into a label. I am learning to trust my gifts, my voice, and the path spirit is laying before me, one card, one charm, one sacred whisper at a time.